{"id":284,"date":"2017-08-30T11:35:42","date_gmt":"2017-08-30T11:35:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lynnricker.com\/?p=284"},"modified":"2020-05-19T14:01:58","modified_gmt":"2020-05-19T14:01:58","slug":"not-buying-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/?p=284","title":{"rendered":"Not Buying It"},"content":{"rendered":"

‘It’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.’ – Steve Jobs<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The trouble with slow is that there is time to think, and consider the state of one\u2019s life.\u00a0 This summer was quieter on the work-front than the previous months, a much welcome break.\u00a0 While working fewer hours, I found myself looking back on the year.<\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t really remember whole months that slipped by in a blur of drop-offs, meetings, work travel, swim practice, play dates, trips to Target, and a million other things.\u00a0 At the same time I realized I had been operating on auto-pilot in so many ways, including spending.<\/p>\n

In looking back at our budget, I saw much that echoed this.\u00a0 There were so many purchases, some I couldn\u2019t remember what they were for.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t like the idea of all this buying on auto-pilot, most of it stuff we didn\u2019t really need, and didn\u2019t really value. Toys we bought were lost and forgotten under the couch.\u00a0 New shirts hung in the closet, as of yet unworn.<\/p>\n

Worse, buying was a distraction, a hobby of sorts to point and click.\u00a0 I perked up to the sound of the UPS man pulling up outside, wondering what wonderful thing was in the latest box.\u00a0 But, unlike the arrival of the Wells Fargo wagon, the things he brought were often disappointing.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t fit, didn\u2019t work, or weren\u2019t needed. \u00a0Returns weren’t timely; we often delayed or forgot.<\/p>\n

Managing the stuff was overwhelming as well.\u00a0 It seemed a full time job to procure it, sort it, keep it organized, and then discard it.\u00a0 It was a constant cycle of new in, and old out.\u00a0 There were piles of toys, stuffed animals, clothes, books, and housewares.\u00a0 I longed to exist in a place free from the clutter all the stuff created.\u00a0 I began to examine the state of our lives in earnest.<\/p>\n

I read a book that had attracted my attention at the bookstore back in the spring, A Year of No Purchases<\/em>.\u00a0 It struck a chord with me, the idea that by spending less time dealing with stuff, more time could be created to spend as a family.<\/p>\n

I procrastinated for weeks, wondering if we could really do it.\u00a0 Could we put a stop to buying?\u00a0 Could I really miss fall, my favorite shopping season?\u00a0 As I looked back at the budget vs. our expenses again, there were trinkets, toys, clothes, outings, restaurant meals \u2013 thousands and thousands of dollars of them.\u00a0 I decided we should try.<\/p>\n

We would avoid buying non essentials until December, until Christmas shopping.\u00a0 Only then would we buy gifts for one another, and practice Gift of the Magi, only three gifts per child, symbolic of the gifts of the three wise men.<\/p>\n

Still on the list were purchases of experience: such as museums or dinner with friends, and essentials: food, medicine, and necessary toiletries.\u00a0 Additionally, we would fix essential things that broke.<\/p>\n

The first week was difficult.\u00a0 I realized how often I stopped by the coffee shop for tea or ice cream.\u00a0 Emails from retailers caught my eye; I couldn\u2019t help but click.\u00a0 But, after a few days, it was easier in many ways.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. I learned different ways to satisfy a need. It wasn\u2019t about denial; it was about better use of what we already had.\u00a0 I looked online and in magazines to see what was new, then went to my closet and to create combinations from things I already had.\u00a0 I did the same with make-up, mixing together a couple of too bright or too dark lipsticks to make a new one that was just right.\u00a0 I reorganized the kids\u2019 toys, putting some away, and circulating others.\u00a0 They seemed new and fun to play with when they hadn\u2019t been seen in a few weeks.<\/li>\n
  2. I unsubscribed from some retailers that just sent too many emails or catalogs. I didn\u2019t miss them, and it was nice to have less junk mail to go through.<\/li>\n
  3. At the end of the first month I learned for the first time in over a year we had made our monthly budget for personal spending and dining out, even with an unexpected household expense. Continuing in this way would mean we\u2019d be able to fully fund our contributions to our kids\u2019 529 plans and our personal SEP-IRAs.\u00a0 The projected costs of college seemed steep and daunting, but so far away, that the budget couldn\u2019t possibility be affected by purchase of a new necklace or necktie? \u00a0 But, it added up in a big way.<\/li>\n
  4. It was empowering to say no to spending, and not feel guilty about it. I\u2019m not sure how we\u2019ll manage Halloween, but I was surprised how little the kids protested when I said we wouldn\u2019t be buying any toys today, or bringing home any souvenirs from a recent trip.<\/li>\n
  5. The best part was the extra time that seemed to materialize: buying stuff really did consume a lot of energy. Without it, we had more time as a family.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    We stayed in and cooked more often.\u00a0 I generally fear cooking, but tried some new recipes, and was pleasantly surprised with the results, tasty and healthy.\u00a0 It made me happy to avoid throwing food away because we hadn\u2019t found time to cook it.<\/p>\n

    At night we turned off the TV.\u00a0 We built forts, and had family yoga time. \u00a0\u00a0We finally put to order our array of board games and Legos, and played with them together.\u00a0 I read and journaled after the kids went to bed, and found I slept better after spending an evening this way.<\/p>\n

    In hindsight I had been feeling out of control.\u00a0 I had given up on holding the line: on sweets, on toys, on screen time, for both the kids, and myself.\u00a0 It felt good to bring some discipline back, and to feel it was working.\u00a0 This newfound peace above all is what will propel me forward.\u00a0 I have a feeling I will carefully guard it, long after our not buying it experiment concludes.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    ‘It’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.’ – Steve Jobs The trouble with slow is that there is time to think, and consider the state of one\u2019s life.\u00a0 This summer was quieter on the work-front than the previous months, a much welcome break.\u00a0 While working fewer… Continue reading Not Buying It<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-posts"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p78aL7-4A","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=284"}],"version-history":[{"count":18,"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":303,"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284\/revisions\/303"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=284"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=284"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=284"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}