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\u201cHe was still too young to know that the heart’s memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good, and that thanks to this artifice we manage to endure the burden of the past.\u201d\u00a0 – Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Love in the Time of Cholera<\/p>\n
One of my friends had her first baby earlier this year, and is just returning to work.\u00a0 Looking back over the past few months, she admitted it was a bit of a whirlwind, and a surprising one.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t realize what the sleepless nights would be like: the exhaustion, the joy, and the sheer work required.<\/p>\n
She seemed to feel silly about not listening to the advice she was given about the lack of sleep. I know\u00a0 this feeling well; I wanted to give her permission to forget.\u00a0 There are some things in life that just have to be experienced to be known.<\/p>\n
You may hear what someone says; you may even believe them, but some things you cannot know until you have lived them.<\/p>\n
In the meantime, vacations full of jumping on hotel beds, going for short hikes, and visiting the children\u2019s museum is more than enough.\u00a0 It\u2019s wonderful in a different sort of way.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
2. Likewise, as soon as I had my first child, people said, \u2018Enjoy it.\u00a0 It goes so fast.\u2019\u00a0 To a new mom, exhausted, and in pain, the post-partum period really can\u2019t go fast enough, and hearing this isn\u2019t terribly helpful.<\/p>\n
You may know as you rock your baby that one day you\u2019ll miss this, but gazing out the window at the cold dark world below, you feel as if you must be the only person awake.\u00a0 It can be a lonely time, despite all the joys of a new infant to cherish.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
It isn\u2019t until later that you do miss it.\u00a0 Now, I ask my son if I can pick him up, or if he\u2019ll snuggle for a few minutes in the morning.\u00a0 Sometimes, he does, but just as often, he wriggles out of bed, rubs the sleep from his eyes, and dashes off to find his sister.<\/p>\n
I do remember the time when his head fit just so on my collarbone, tucked under my chin.\u00a0 I try to recall the weight of him, the downy smooth of his hair.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
3. It is fleeing, and you may miss it, but it\u2019s hard to appreciate when you\u2019re in it.\u00a0 People say, \u2018The days are long, but the years are short.\u2019\u00a0 This too, is true.\u00a0 But, when it\u2019s been a disaster of a day, and no one is listening to you, all you can think is, \u2018When will the day be over?\u2019<\/p>\n
You may tell yourself, \u2018One day, I\u2019ll miss this,\u2019 but on those days, my favorite part, invariably, is sinking into cool sheets at night, grateful for a fresh start in the morning.\u00a0 \u2018This too shall pass\u2019 may be more apropos for these moments.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I suppose much of life is an exercise in hindsight, in appreciating and loving what has been, while living the present moment, and trying to take as much meaning from it as we can.<\/p>\n
4. The one piece of advice I found to be tangible is capturing the memories you make.\u00a0 A well-meaning person said, \u2018Take as much video as you can.\u2019\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure I listened as well as I could have to this either, but the videos we did take are precious.<\/p>\n
They contain moments I would otherwise struggle to remember: bits of kid hilarity in busy days, high-pitched little voices singing, playing, and dreaming.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
The kids ask me about what they were like as babies, and I show them how Julia loved her high chair, and said \u2018more buckle, more buckle\u2019 as she happily clicked it open and closed, over and over, and how Michael couldn\u2019t say hard ‘c,’ and would announce, \u2018I want fookie.\u2019<\/p>\n
To go back to these images is like taking a walk in the past.\u00a0 It makes me nostalgic, but just as much, it makes me happy for all we have seen and experienced as a family.\u00a0 It makes me proud of how far we have come, and the life we have built.<\/p>\n
I dearly wish I had such videos of my grandparents to share with my children.<\/p>\n
It also makes me grateful for what we have, and excited for what is yet to come.\u00a0 As I pack our bags for our upcoming trip, I save space for the trinkets we will buy, the rocks the kids will inevitably want to bring home, and the memories we\u2019ve yet to make.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe past beats inside me like a second heart.\u201d\u00a0 – John Banville, The Sea<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cHe was still too young to know that the heart’s memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good, and that thanks to this artifice we manage to endure the burden of the past.\u201d\u00a0 – Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Love in the Time of Cholera One of my friends had her first baby earlier this year, and… Continue reading Memories of Us<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-437","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-posts"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p78aL7-73","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/437","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=437"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/437\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":449,"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/437\/revisions\/449"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=437"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=437"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lynnricker.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=437"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}